College student: Hey, what’s up?
Grad student, slowly: The stench of humanity is strong within my nostrils.
Stupid Things Overheard
Preschool girl: Mom, can we go to that restaurant? I’m so hungry!
Mom: No, we’re almost home.
Preschool girl: But Mom! I’m so hungry I just drank my own spit!
Stupid Things Overheard
Overheard in a high school classroom after a presentation on nuclear proliferation…
Student A: “So, if we had a nuclear war, we would have nuclear winter and we’d all die?”
Presenter: “Yeah. If Russia and the U.S. had gone to war, we all could have died. It would take 400 nuclear explosions to produce enough debris to block out the sun.”
Student B: “So, how many nuclear winters have we had?”
Presenter: Dumbfounded silence at stupidity of classmate. “Ummm….none….”
Stupid Things Overheard
Office grunt #1: So, why are you taking off on Friday?
Office grunt #2: To lay some pipe. ‘Cause layin’ pipe pays more than this job does.