(A mother and her teenage son come through my line…)
Me: “Hello, did you find everything you need?”
Mother: “Yes, we did.”
(I notice she is buying party items, including cups, soda, pizzas, napkins… and condoms.)
Me: “Oh, are you having a party soon?”
Mother: *nods* “My little James is growing up. He’s going to have an orgy with all his little friends, aren’t you Captain Muffinpants?”
Me: *suppresses laughter* “Will that be all?”
Son: “YES! YES THAT WILL BE ALL!” *runs to car*
Bimbette #1, reading subway ad: ‘Sleeping with your baby is dangerous, especially if you drink, use drugs or are overweight.’ Hahaha!
Bimbette #2: I’m pretty sure sleeping with your baby is bad no matter what.
Bimbette #3: Except that in, like, every other country besides the United States everyone sleeps on the floor, like, on their mat, with their baby next to them.
Rich lady on phone: Uh-huh, uh-huh, but what if we just put the tennis court where the house was? … Okay, okay, what if we demolish the existing tennis court and make that area the guest house again? Or create a glassed-in structure over the court instead?
Woman #1: Where are you from?
Woman #2: Hong Kong.
Woman #1: What kind of Asia is that? Korea?