Stupid Tech Support

We have a service contract at a local college. I got a call one day from someone who said that their Mac IIsi was having a problem. Upon questioning him, he said that whenever he typed on the keyboard, the image on the monitor was shaking. All sorts of monitor problems ran through my mind. I asked him if it was only when he typed and he replied yes. Well, since it was a contract, I figured we’d better go see what was happening. My tech called me about ten minutes after arriving and reported that the problem was not the computer, but his desk. The desk vibrated every time he typed on his keyboard. I am still shaking my head on this one. The sad thing is that this guy has “Dr.” in front of his name and is a professor at a major college.

Stupid Tech Support

Last week, I installed a computer for a co-worker. It was the very first computer she had ever used. She called me early the next morning and said her monitor was fuzzy looking and wanted to know if she needed to buy an antenna for it.

I told her no, it was cable ready.

Stupid Tech Support

A new technician was sent into the field to install a new video card. About the time they began to wonder if something was wrong, the technician called in. “I have the monitor apart, I just can’t figure out where to install the video card.”

Stupid Tech Support

Tech Support: “Please click on the ‘start’ button.”

Customer: “What ‘start’ button?”

Tech Support: “In the lower left hand corner there is a button that says ‘start’.”

Customer: “There is no button.”

Tech Support: “You are using Windows NT?”

Customer: “Yes. The button is on the right hand side, and there is a little green light next to it. You want me to push that?”

Tech Support: “No sir, that’s the power button. Is there a gray bar across the bottom of the screen with buttons on it?”

Customer: “There is no gray bar. It is white, and it opens, and there are buttons inside.”

Tech Support: “No. Sir, on the TV part of the monitor is there a gray bar that you can point at with the mouse, using the cursor that is on the screen.”

Customer: “There are some dials. There is one that has a picture of a sun on it, but I don’t have any idea what those are for.”