Customer: “Can I ask you a really stupid question?”
Tech Support: “Yes. And history will bear me out on that.”
Needless to say, that user was also a friend. I have always wanted to say this to someone, and there he was!
Stupid Tech Support
Tech Support: “OK Bob, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter ‘P’ to bring up the Program Manager.”
Customer: “I don’t have a ‘P’.”
Tech Support: “On your keyboard, Bob.”
Customer: “What do you mean?”
Tech Support: “‘P’ on your keyboard, Bob.”
Customer: “I’m not going to do that!”
Stupid Tech Support
Tech Support: “Ok, now click your left mouse button.”
Customer: (silence) “But I only have one mouse.”
Stupid Tech Support
Tech Support: “Ok, can you see the arrow in the middle of the screen?”
Customer: “Yes.”
Tech Support: “Good! Now trying moving the mouse around. Do you see the arrow moving?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: “Not even a little?”
Customer: “No, not at all.”
I spent several minutes having the user follow the cable from the the mouse to the back of the PC. It was plugged in all the way.
Tech Support: “Ok, try moving it again. Up, down, left, right — anything?”
Customer: “Nope, still nothing.”
Tech Support: “Hmmm, maybe the table is too slippery — why don’t you try rolling the mouse on a book or a piece of paper?”
Customer: “Oh!! On the table!”
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