Tech Support: “Customer Support, this is David, may I help you?”
Customer: “Hello, yes, it’s me.”
Tech Support: “Oh, it’s me too.” [chuckle]
Customer: “No, Esmie. E, s, m, i, e.”
Tech Support: “Oh, sorry.”
Stupid Tech Support
Customer: “How do you spell ‘Internet America’? Is there a space between ‘inter’ and ‘net’?”
Tech Support: “No space between ‘inter’ and ‘net’. It’s spelled normally.”
Customer: “Ok. A-M-E-R-I-C-K?”
Tech Support: “That’s A-M-E-R-I-C-A.”
Customer: “I-C-K???”
Tech Support: “‘A’ as in apple”
Customer: “There’s no ‘K’ in apple!”
Stupid Tech Support
I called up tech support because Internet Explorer insisted on opening everything I was trying to download with Quicktime.
Customer: “Internet Explorer insists on opening everything I try to download with Quicktime.”
Tech Support: “Ok.”
Customer: “So whenever I click on anything that I want to download it tries to open it with Quicktime.”
Tech Support: “Are you sure that its not a Quicktime file?”
Customer: “No it’s an exe file.”
Tech Support: “So it’s not a Quicktime file?”
Customer: “No, and I can’t right click either, to do a Save Target As.”
Tech Support: “Oh, but you’re sure it’s not a Quicktime file, right?”
Customer: “Yes, it is an executable file, DOT E X E, not DOT M O V.”
Tech Support: “Is it a .exe that can be opened in Quicktime?”
“““““
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Stupid Tech Support
When in college, I had to make a fake advertisement for a class. I had a GIF that I downloaded that I wanted to put into it, so I sat down at the only Mac that was connected to the scanner in the school’s computer lab. For some reason, it couldn’t open the file, and the program crashed repeatedly. I got a lab technician to come over, and I explained the problem. She asked what I did to it and got angry with me. So I went to the Mac next to the one I was on and opened the picture in the same program. She told me in no uncertain terms that I was responsible for ruining the computer.
Me: “I scanned these pictures in, then tried to open this GIF I downloaded.”
Her: “What? You can’t do that! That type of a file is for Windows machines only! It isn’t supported on Macs.”
Me: “No, it is a standard graphic file. It can be opened on either machine.”
Her: “No it can’t! You might have to pay to fix this.”
Me: “If it can’t open on a Mac, how did I get it to open on this Mac right here? See?”
Her: “Don’t do that! You’re gonna break that one also.”
To protect her computer from evil me, she leaned over and flipped the power switch off.