Tech Support: “How fast is your modem?”
Customer: “I don’t know, it’s got a Pentium chip in it.”
Stupid Tech Support
I used to work for MacWarehouse as a tech support representative. One day a gentleman called who had never had a computer before. He was trying to set up his new system. I tried and I tried but I just couldn’t make him understand where to plug the cables in. Finally I looked up the details on his order. He had ordered top-of-the-line everything — monitor, keyboard, printer, modem, scanner, speakers, CD-ROM drive, external hard drive……except, he had not ordered the actual computer itself. No wonder the cables would not plug in anywhere.
Stupid Tech Support
Tech Support: “Type ‘A’ and press Enter.”
Customer: “Didn’t work.”
Tech Support: “What did it do?”
Customer: “Nothing.”
Tech Support: “Hmmm…I’ll send you a new set of diskettes.”
The problem happened again.
Tech Support: “Hmmm…send me the diskettes back.”
They ran perfectly on my machine. I had her print her config.sys and autoexec.bat files, etc. No problems. I called her back.
Tech Support: “Type ‘A’ and press Enter.”
In the background, faintly, I heard these “tickety-tickety” sounds.
Tech Support: “What are you doing?”
It turned out she was typing, “Type A and press Enter.” The error message at the bottom of the screen apparently didn’t count as “doing anything.”