Stupid Salespeople

In a small computer store…

Me: “Hi. I need a 25 pin RS-232 cable.”

Sales Clerk 1: “What do you need it for?”

Me: “I need to plug a VT100 into a modem. I have both the VT100 and the modem, I just need at 25 pin male/female cable with RS-232 connectors.”

Sales Clerk 1: “Let me get my manager.”

Huh?

Sales Clerk 1: in background: “I have a guy here who wants to plug his VCR into a modem.”

The sales clerk returned with another.

Sales Clerk 2: “Hello, sir. You can’t attach a VCR to a modem.”

Me: “That is not what I am trying to do. I need a 25-pin RS-232 cable — that’s all. Do you have cables for plugging into modems?”

Sales Clerk 2: “What do you want to plug into the modem?”

Me: “A VT100. It is a terminal. You plug it into a computer over a serial line, frequently a modem. I just need a 25-pin cable to go from the unit to the modem.”

Sales Clerk 2: (to Sales Clerk 1) “He doesn’t have a VCR. He wants to plug a VTR into his modem, so it is all right.”

Sales Clerk 1 handed me a cable.

Me: “This is a 9-pin cable. I need a 25 pin cable.”

Sales Clerk 2: “Most PC’s have 9 pins on their serial cards.”

Me: “I am not attaching a PC. I am attaching a VT100. There are 25 pins on it — it needs to plug into a 25 pin connector.”

Sales Clerk 2: “Then use the small end to plug into your modem.”

Me: “There are 25 pins on the modem as well. Do you have any 25 pin cables? All I need is a cable with 25 pins at each end.”

Sales Clerk 2: “This is a 25 pin cable.”

Stupid Salespeople

Here’s a story where some degree of fault lies on both sides. I was at my local Walmart, walking through the electronics section like I often do. A young couple was looking at a computer, assisted by a salesperson. I overheard the following conversation:

Salesman: “You should really get the full package, with the new monitor and the other accessories.”

Husband: “But we already have a monitor and keyboard from our old computer.”

Salesman: “You should still get the package, because it comes with a faster keyboard.”

The couple conversed for a moment.

Husband: “Can we put it on layaway and make payments on it?”

Stupid Salespeople

I collect old computers as a hobby, mostly 20 year old microcomputers — Apple II, Commodore, etc. Once, in an attempt to find one, I called a computer surplus store.

Me: “Hi. Do you have any old computers, maybe 10-20 years old?”

Salesperson: “Sir, there were no computers 20 years ago.”

Me: “Umm, ok. Bye.”

Then I cracked up.

Stupid Students

Excerpt from a student essay…

Eventually, the Ramons conquered the Geeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. At Roman banquets, the guests wore garlics in their hair. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his poor subjects by playing the fiddle to them.