I’m not saying that my ex roommate Dan is stupid, I’m just saying that he’s one chip shy of a cookie. One day at lunch, we were all discussing where we would live over Christmas break. My wonderful AFRICAN AMERICAN friend, Letta, said that she would be living in a certain neighborhood of Columbus, at which point Dan shouts “Don’t live there! That’s a BLACK neighborhood!” I guess natural selection doesn’t always work.
I live with another woman who is about thirty years old. She is totally stupid. She has done a lot of stupid things and I am sure she will keep on like this until she dies. One day she was trying to fix the cable of a ceiling lamp because it was out of order. The first time she had an electric shock because she tried to fix it without switching off the main power. I thought that she would switch it off before she tries again but, for my surprise, she just wore a pair of gloves and tried again. I was amazed by her stupidness. I could not stand it anymore and asked her why she didn’t switch off the power and she told me: “You are right. That’s a good idea..”
During my younger days in boarding school the majority of the student body had to have their teeth corrected some way. There were those who endured the pain of braces, the annoyance of retainers, and so on. However, some lucky students just had super model teeth. One friend of mine had the largest retainer I had ever seen. It looked like he had a tennis ball in his mouth. One evening while walking down the hall a fellow student asked what he had in his mouth. “It’s a retainer,” he replied. “Cool, whose is it?” This is the same student who when his friend was playing golf on the computer his friend yelled out, “Yippie, I got a hole in one!” His reply was, “Cool, in how many shots?”
My very first roommate forgot to buy a trash container when we first moved in. He decided to use his clothes hamper, since he was never planning on putting clothes in there in the first place, probably because they were easier to find on the floor. He liked the idea of a hamper trash container, because it was very big and would hold a lot of trash. He would only have to take trash out every couple of weeks (so he thought). One day he asked me why all of these fruit flies were flying around his desk (where he kept his trash container), but not around my stuff. It just reinforced the fact that he is terminally stupid.
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