Customer: “Ma’am, I think your frozen yogurt is expired.”
Me: “Really? What brand?”
Customer: “I don’t remember. But it tasted funny last night when I ate it.”
Me: “What was the expiration date?”
Customer: “Not until next month. But it tasted funny. After I put it in the microwave, it was liquid and warm.”
Me: “You put it in the microwave?”
Customer: “Yeah, it’s frozen yogurt! You have to heat it up!”
After sending an ad mockup to a client for approval, I had a follow-up phone call about the design. The client (marketing director at a major magazine) said “It needs to look more like the actual magazine.”
Me: If someone on your end could send us the magazine’s fonts, that would help a lot.
Client: Can you spell that for me?
Me: …F-O-N-T-S.
Client: Am I supposed to know what that is?
(A teenager is trying to buy a cell phone. He has an out of state ID which appears fake. It is brought to me to check it.)
Me: “We can’t accept this ID. It’s not real.”
Customer: “Can you tell me what’s wrong with it compared to a real one, so I’ll know for next time?”
Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”
Customer: “My iPhone doesn’t work, and those dumbasses in the phone department couldn’t help me.”
Me: “May I take a look?”
Customer: “Here it is. It won’t make phone calls.” *hands it to me*
Me: “Ma’am, this is an iPod Touch.”
Customer: “That’s exactly what that dumbass in the phone department told me. God, are all you people stupid?! iPods look like this!” *holds up an iPod Classic*
Me: “That’s an iPod Classic. These are the new touch screen ones. May I see the box it came in?”
Customer: “What? Here, fine.” *hands me the box*
Me: “Ma’am, can you read this to me please?”
(I flip the box to where the label clearly says iPod.)
Customer: “What, are you blind too?! It says iP-…oh. Oh! Well, don’t I feel like a b****.” *walks off*
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