Stupid Customers

I used to do tech support for a company that made computer accessories and video game accessories. We had a pay-for-access web site for one of our products. The site was full of special codes and cheats. One day, a customer called, asking how to access the site.

Tech Support: “Well, just go to [URL].”

Customer: “How do I do that?”

Tech Support: “Type it in in your web browser.”

Customer: “Huh?”

Tech Support: “Ok…sir…do you have Internet access?”

Customer: “Huh? No. No Internet. I don’t even have a computer.”

Tech Support: “Ok, sir, you need a computer and an Internet account to access web sites.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, it didn’t say that when I mailed in the membership card. I want my money back.”

Stupid Customers

Customer: “So that’ll get me connected to the Internet, right?”

Tech Support: “Yeah.”

Customer: “And that’s the latest version of the Internet, right?”

Tech Support: “Uhh…uh…uh…yeah.”

Stupid Customers

Customer: “I have a question about the Internet.”

Tech Support: “Ok, what’s your question?”

Customer: “How do I unsubscribe from a BBS?”

Tech Support: “Uh, well, you should probably contact the people that run it.”

Customer: “Well who owns the Internet?”

Stupid Customers

Customer: “I can’t get online.”

Tech Support: “Can you be more specific?”

Customer: “It says, ‘Bad username/password’.”

Tech Support: “What is your username?”

Customer: “Are you sure that the Internet isn’t closed for the night?”

I was extremely tempted to tell him how people in Europe and Asia wake up at odd hours just to use the net.