Customer: “I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message.”
Tech Support: “Did you install the update?”
Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?”
Stupid Customers
One time I was trying to set up a customer’s email program. I walked him through setting up an account with the incoming and outgoing server names set to “mail,” but it didn’t work. I tried again, and it still didn’t work. I was starting to right out of ideas, and then the customer said, “If my mail server name is ‘male,’ does that mean my girlfriend’s server is ‘female’?”
Stupid Customers
Customer: “I just got your software in the mail…when are you sending the computer?”
Tech Support: “You don’t have a computer?”
Customer: “Nope. But I have the software — just send me the computer, and you’ve got a new member.”
Stupid Customers
I worked for a while in tech support for a large ISP. One day the guy next to me got a call asking for a demo of the Internet. I said I could send him a one month free trial, but he said, “No, no, I don’t want any trial versions. I just want a demo. Can you just copy the Internet to CDs and mail them to me?”
It took me about ten minutes to explain before he got a clue that this was, in fact, impossible. Even then he refused the free trial and just hung up. This always makes me wonder what goes on in some people’s heads.