Stupid CoWorkers

October 12, 2011

Me: “Sporting goods, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I need to check to see if you have this particular scooter in stock.”

Me: “What kind of scooter?”

Customer: “It’s a Razor. I think it’s a blue one. Your website says it’s $197. I want to see if you have it.”

Me: “Let me check. Hold on.

(I place customer on hold and go check our stock.)

Me: “Yeah, we have two. One has a speed of 10 MPH and that one is like an old foot powered scooter with an electric motor. We also have a European styled-scooter with a speed of 15 MPH.”

Customer: “Mmmm, okay, does the 15 MPH scooter go faster than the 10MPH scooter?”

Me: “Um, yeah. That kinda tends to happen.”

Customer: “So that’s faster, right?”

Me: “Yeah, it is faster.”

Customer: “Ok, yeah. Thanks!”

Stupid Customers

Stupid Customers

September 12, 2011

(The bookstore I work in offers free gift wrapping for customers. It’s a steady night at the bookstore and a woman approaches my register.)

Me: “Hi, how are you?”

Customer: “I need to get something gift wrapped.”

Me: “Sure, do you have the receipt for it?”

Customer: “No, I didn’t buy it here. I bought this from another store.”

(She takes out box of perfume.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t wrap something you bought from another store. You’re going to have to buy your own gift wrapping paper and wrap it yourself.”

(Ten minutes later, the woman returns to my register with wrapping paper in hand.)

Customer: “Okay. Now can you TEACH me how to wrap it?”

Stupid Customers

Stupid Customer

August 25, 2011

(at a buffet-style restaurant where customers line up for the food.)

Manager: “Can you go refill the napkins? We’re all out.”

Me: “Sure.”

(I walk over to the line wearing my work uniform and my ID card prominently displayed.)

Me: “Excuse me, I just need to refill the napkins.”

Customer: “No problem.”

Customer #2: “Why the f*** does everyone keep cutting the line?”

Me: “Sir, I work here. I am just refilling the napkins.”

Customer #2: “Well, that is no excuse! If you work here, you should know to wait your turn!”

Stupid Customers
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Stupid Customer

August 14, 2011

Me: “Hello, what can I do for you?”

Customer: “I want to take out a loan.”

Me: “I am sorry, what do you mean?”

Customer: “I want to take out a big loan so I can play and maybe buy a car.”

Me: “This isn’t a bank, sir. This is a casino. We don’t do that.”

Customer: “This can’t be. I know your company has loads of money. I want to borrow some. I will pay the tax or whatever.”

Me: “Sir, we don’t do loans. This isn’t a bank.”

Customer: “This is bulls***! Money is money. What’s the difference if I borrow here or at the bank? I will pay it back. So what difference does it make? Don’t argue with me!”

(I press the red button under my desk to call security.)

Me: “A gentleman will be here in a second to work things out with you and your loan. Good day!”

Stupid Customers
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