Tech Support: “What operating system are you running sir?”
Customer: “Word.”
Tech Support: “I think you mean windows, sir.”
Customer: “Oh yeah, WordWindows. It’s very popular.”
Stupid Customers
I work for technical helpline. When our lines are busy, customers can leave messages in our voicemail. The system asks for the customer to leave contact info, machine details, and description of the problem. Here’s one message I got:
“There’s something wrong with my computer. I really can’t tell you what the problem is or what the machine does, but there definitely is something wrong with it. Could you please call me back soon?”
I hope the customer got the psychic message I sent him about how to fix the problem. I sure didn’t get his psychic message about the problem and his phone number.
Stupid Customers
An elderly woman called, furious.
Tech Support: “How can I help you ma’am?”
Customer: “You had better help me!”
Tech Support: “That’s why they pay me!”
Customer: “Don’t get smart with me!”
Tech Support: “Of course, ma’am, how can I help you?”
Customer: “Well, I’ve been waiting for quite some time!”
Tech Support: “Yes ma’am, our current wait is about twenty minutes. It usually isn’t that bad.”
Customer: (yelling) “Twenty minutes! I’ve been waiting three days!”
Tech Support: “You’ve defied sleep and other bodily functions for a full 72 hours?”
Isn’t it wonderful when they get vague? Turns out she clicked on the “Help” button in Word or something three days prior and was waiting for us to call her…despite the fact that her computer had no modem and was not near a telephone line.
Stupid Customers
Once I had a guy bring in two polaroid pictures of screen shots of his computer. He claimed they were “before” and “after” shots and wanted us to diagnose his computer problems by looking at the pictures. They looked the same to us — but we kept them and posted them in the back area with a $1000 dollar reward to anyone who could diagnose the problem that way.