Customer: “All my files I saved last week to my C: drive are missing!”
Tech Support: “Do you remember what directory you first saved them in?”
Customer: “No, I don’t. I just know it was on my C: drive.”
Tech Support: “Ok, I’ll walk you through how to find the files.”
Customer: “I wouldn’t think I would be losing files on this computer. Gee, I just had the hard drive replaced in it yesterday.”
Tech Support: “All right, flip the power switch on the back of the modem. Are they lit up now?”
Customer: “No, still not on.”
Tech Support: “Is the modem plugged in?”
Customer: “Uhh…”
Tech Support: “On the back of the modem, there are three cables. One goes to the terminal, one is the phone line, and the third is the power cord. Where does that third cable go?”
Customer: “That cable goes to the keyboard.”
Tech Support: “No, I don’t think it does. Try following the cable again.”
Customer: “It really does go to the keyboard. In fact, the keyboard that y’all sent didn’t fit into any of the holes in the modem, so I had to use the one from my own computer…but that fits in nicely.”
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Tech Support: “All right…now double-click on the File Manager icon.”
Customer: “That’s why I hate this Windows — because of the icons — I’m a Protestant, and I don’t believe in icons.”
Tech Support: “Well, that’s just an industry term sir. I don’t believe it was meant to –”
Customer: “I don’t care about any ‘Industry Terms’. I don’t believe in icons.”
Tech Support: “Well…why don’t you click on the ‘little picture’ of a file cabinet…is ‘little picture’ ok?”
Customer: [click]
About two months ago, a client called in screaming profanities at me and demanding that I either give him a refund on his one year old system or send a technician out to repair it immediately. His problem was that the taskbar was on the right-hand side of his screen, and he couldn’t get it back to the bottom.