Stupid Customers

May 10, 2007

A call to the technical support line for a cell phone company:

Customer: “The numbers on my caller ID are going blurry!”

Tech Support: “Sir, I think you might just need a new battery.”

Customer: “Well, can you tell me how to change it?”

Tech Support: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “How am I supposed to change this battery?”

Tech Support: “Sir, all you need to do is replace the battery. It’s not that hard.”

Customer: “Can you send out a repairman to do it for me?”

What? He had to be kidding.

Tech Support: “We normally don’t send out repairmen to change batteries.”

Customer: “What? I can’t change this battery by myself!”

After a few more minutes of angry yelling on his part that we would not be sending a repairman to go change the battery for him, he got on the phone with supervisor and demanded I be fired.

Needless to say, I wasn’t.

Stupid Customers

Stupid Customers

May 8, 2007

We sell routers, some of them equipped with built-in wireless access points.

Customer: “YOUR CRAPPY ACCESS POINT IS A WORTHLESS ****! I CAN’T BELIEVE I BOUGHT IT! I WANT MY MONEY BACK!”

Tech Support: “What seems to be the trouble?”

Customer: “I CAN HARDLY CONNECT TO IT WITH MY LAPTOP! EVEN IF I STAND RIGHT NEXT TO YOUR **** MY LAPTOP STILL SAYS CONNECTION QUALITY BAD. HOW CAN YOU SELL THIS CRAP?”

After about 15 minutes of ranting and trouble hunting, we finally concluded that:

The customer bought the entry-level model of our router.

That model does not have any built-in access point.

When the customer activated his laptop’s wireless client, it did, however, still manage to connect to an access point.

The access point his laptop connected to was found out to be his neighbor’s wireless access point.

His neighbor’s house was a good distance from his, hence the low connection quality.

Even though he bought a router from us and an Internet connection from a provider, he didn’t actually use them.

We doubted his neighbor would appreciate this, if he found out.

And the customer’s reaction to this news?

Customer: “BUT HOW CAN YOU ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN! I THOUGHT YOU HAD A FIREWALL IN YOUR CRAP! IT SHOULD HAVE STOPPED MY LAPTOP FROM DOING IT!”

Stupid Customers
,

Stupid Customers

May 4, 2007

I was working at a help desk, and, thankfully, my co-worker took this particular call. A man nervously called saying that he couldn’t print his proposal due out that day, because WordPerfect was reporting an error that his fonts were missing. My co-worker told the gentleman that we’d send somebody right up. Apparently there was quite a back log, though, and no one could get there fast enough for him. He had continually called throughout the day asking for his call to be expedited. Finally, at the end of the day, his secretary called and asked, urgently, “Could you PLEASE send somebody up as quickly as possible? He opened the computer with a screwdriver and is looking for his missing fonts.”

Stupid Customers
, ,

Stupid Customers

April 22, 2007

I work for a major computer retailer and heard a page over the intercom for an available salesman at the customer service desk. Most of the salesmen are a little apprehensive when they hear this, because you never know what you are about to get in the middle of. As I approached the desk, I saw a well-dressed cowboy and a desktop tower on the service desk. One of the customer service reps informed me that the computer he bought today was broken, and he needed a replacement. So I agreed and started toward the tower to take it back. The gentleman stopped me and said he just realized he had forgotten to get his CD out. Before I could say anything, he pulled out a pocket knife and went for it. Luckily, we got him to stop before he did any real damage, and I showed him how to hook it up to a power cord and eject it normally. Never thought I would see somebody try to knife a computer.

Stupid Customers