Stupid Customers

(I’m 19, and look fairly younger than that. I teach at a dance studio. I’m standing at the receptionist’s desk when a woman walks in.)

Customer: “Hi, I missed registration yesterday and I need to register my daughter for a beginning ballet class.”

Coworker: “Okay, you actually lucked out, we have a space open in [other co-worker]’s class.”

Customer: “Yeah, but I really want her in [my name]’s class…can you arrange that?”

Coworker: “Well, okay let me…”

Customer: “Hang on.” *turns to me* “Sweetie, what are you doing here? It’s incredibly rude to eavesdrop.”

Me: “Well, I–”

Customer: “Where are your parents? And why didn’t they teach you any manners? You think you can just stand here, eating up this lady’s time. I have a job! I have better things to do than watch you listen to me!”

Me: “Hi, I’m actually [my name]. You wanted to get into my class?”

Stupid Customers

Customer: “I keep seeing a charge for $9.99 on my account. Why do you people keep charging me $9.99?”

Me: “Sir, that charge is coming not from us, but from GGW.”

Customer: “What the h*** is GGW? People are stealing my money and you do nothing! So what the h*** is GGW?”

(I have seen the charge for GGW before. I usually just use the abbreviation to spare the customer.))

Me: “Sir, GGW stands for Girls Gone–”

Customer: “Oh yeah. Never mind I remember now…uh…bye.” *click*

Stupid Customers

(Note: I’m bagging groceries.)

Me: “So, are you going to make a pies?”

Customer: “What did you say?!”

Me: “Um, I noticed you’re buying a lot of stuff to make pies with. I asked if you were going to make some.”

Customer: “Stop looking at my groceries!”

Me: “Okay.” *I resume bagging*

Customer: “I said to stop looking at them!”

Me: “Um, okay.”

(I close my eyes and attempt to bag them without seeing them.)

Customer: “Stop mocking me!”

Stupid Customers

Customer: “How much is this bird?”

Me: “Sir, how did you get the bird out of the cage? The cage was locked.”

Customer: “Oh, I got this one from the birds you have outside by the door.”

Me: “Those aren’t our birds.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Sir, you picked up a wild bird. But congratulations, because I can’t imagine it was a simple task.”