Me: “Thank you for calling [company] support, can I have your employee ID number, please?”
Caller: “Yeah, can you put me on hold?”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Caller: “I called before and complained about the awful hold music you guys use. I want to see if you changed it.”
Me: “Hold on just a minute.”
(I put the caller on hold for a minute.)
Me: “Hello, are you still there ma’am?”
Caller: “Yeah, I’m here.”
Me: “So is the hold music any less awful?”
Caller: “No, not really. Thanks.” *click*
Guest: “How much for one of your hotel rooms?”
Me: *gives price*
Guest: “How about if I only pay [another price]?”
Me: “Sorry sir, I can’t do that. We’re almost sold out and I can’t reduce room rates when we’re almost sold out.”
Guest: “Do you really think you’re going to sell this room anytime tonight?”
Me: “Yes, I will. I’m the only hotel in the area with rooms left and other hotels are sending their overflow guests to me. I’ll sell this room in the next half hour.”
Guest: “Oh come on!”
Me: “Plus there’s a concert tonight and I’m getting a lot of concert go’ers coming in to get a room.”
Guest: “But the concert is over! I just came from the concert myself!”
Me: “And here you are!”
(I’m a female. I’ve recently shaved my head for charity.)
Customer’s Son: “Mum, there’s a boy-lady!”
Customer: *distracted* “Is there darling?”
Customer’s Son: “Yes, at the counter.”
(The mother glares at me.)
Customer: “I see.”
Customer’s Son: “Can I be a boy-lady?”
Customer: “No. No you cannot.”
(They finish what they’re doing and as they’re leaving the mother calls me over.)
Customer: “I don’t care what you do at home, but if you want to pass for female in public, buy a d*** wig. You’re corrupting the kids!”
Customer: “Two.”
Me: “For which movie?”
Customer: *silence*
Me: “Which movie would you like to see?”
Customer: *silence*
Me: “Can you hear me?”
Customer: “Yes, I said two!”
Me: “I heard that, but you have to tell me which movie you want to see before I can sell you a ticket.”
Customer: “Oh, I have to pick one?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: “Well how should I know what I want to see? I haven’t seen any of them yet!”