CoWorker #1: I need to book a car for an airport pickup in Washington DC.
CoWorker #2: Is that in Seattle?
Stupid CoWorkers
Manager: I just wanted to let you know your yellow nipples came back in.
CoWorker: Good, so my black nipples are now yellow?
Manager: They aren’t really nipples, they are actually pipes.
CoWorker: But the box said “nipples.”
Manager: I know you like to say that, but nipples are short, pipes are long. Got it?
CoWorker: I’ll keep that in mind!
Stupid CoWorkers
Female CoWorker, struggling to pick up carton of printer paper: Can you help me with this?
Male CoWorker: This would be a good time to use the new hand cart.
Female CoWorker: Okay, yes, but I can’t even get it up off the floor.
Male CoWorker: So, you can’t get it up, huh?
Female CoWorker: No, that’s you.
Stupid CoWorkers
CoWorkers #1: So she was driving me so batshit crazy with her dumbass questions that I wanted to punch her right in her stupid face. But then I thought that anyone who’s that chronically stupid must already have a really difficult life. So my good deed for the day was to just punch her in my imagination.
CoWorkers #2: You truly are a prince among men.
CoWorkers #1: I know, right? Most people don’t get that about me.