Stupid CoWorkers

October 20, 2006

Employee’s Lingo:

“I’m extremely adept at all manner of office organization”

I’ve used Microsoft Office.

“I’m honest, hardworking and dependable”

I pilfer office supplies.

“My pertinent work experience includes…”

I hope you don’t ask me about all the McJobs I’ve had.

“I take pride in my work”

I blame others for my mistakes.

“I’m personable”

I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to coworkers.

“I’m extremely professional”

I carry a Day-Timer.

“I am adaptable”

I’ve changed jobs a lot.

“I am on the go”

I’m never at my desk.

“I’m highly motivated to succeed”

The minute I find a better job, I’m outta there.

Stupid CoWorkers
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Stupid CoWorkers

October 15, 2006

So I have worked at this place that I like to refer to as the Devil’s Playground for almost 5 years. And I actually just got a new job I will be startinig a week from Monday. My reason for leaving is because for the last few years this woman in my office, who I like to refer to as “The Troll” makes my life a living hell. Ok she is very LAZY I mean honestly she makes more personal phone calls in a day than she does phone calls with customers. Than when she isn’t on the phone she e-mails everyone she knows, and will NOT answer the phone it is very annoying, than she will answer the phones when the bosses come in the room, so she makes it look like the rest of us are slackers when she does NOTHING all effing day!

She makes comments all the time that are very rude to me. Also on her personal calls she likes to play 20 questions so that she won’t say she is talking about me, but im not stupid like that stupid horrible troll is. She also said that I don’t understand when our bosses mom was going through cancer even though my father had just passed away a few months earlier from cancer, and she told me to my face” we don’t understand what they are going through” I really hate her and I can’t wait to start my new job, so I don’t have to see her lazy, orange colored wrinky face ever again.

Stupid CoWorkers
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Stupid CoWorkers

September 20, 2006

For two years now I have been working in the offices of a cleaning company.

The two directors are married and met about twelve years ago. He used to be a director of another company and she used to be the cleaner!

Cut a long story short, they got together and started up their own company.

He wants to build an empire whilst she is quite happy to keep things small and do the odd cleaning job.

So, the two directors seem to be pulling in two different directions, which makes their marital life quite eventful!

He loves women – although women don’t love him. She is extremely possessive and jealous.

I get caught in the middle of their slanging matches and they often run each other down to me. The professionalism, or lack of it, is beyond believe. I want to scream DIVORCE at them both! Up to now I have managed to keep my opinions to myself and just nod in a sympathetic way whenever they wish to vent their frustrations.

I am an attractive girl so I have to put up with suspicious eye balling from the woman and even received a phone call at home around 10pm one night – her husband had gone out on his motorbike and she thought he was with me!!!!! The thought makes my stomach churn!

Moral of the story: DO NOT WORK FOR A MARRIED COUPLE!

Stupid CoWorkers
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Your Superhero Co-workers

August 21, 2006

The Riddler: You never really understand this type of co-worker. Sometimes he’s nice, sometimes unfriendly, sometimes knowledgeable, and sometimes dumb. The Riddler smokes and drinks and eats, but so irregularly that you wonder if he’s a smoker, or a drinker (or an eater).

Invisible Woman: The Invisible Woman (pictured below) is largely unnoticed in your office. She’s on the payroll, so everyone understands she’s somehow doing a good job, though no one understands exactly what this job is. Invisible Woman will avoid all after-work socialization, quietly leaving when work is done. The Invisible Woman doesn’t need to call in sick as no one will notice her missing anyway.

The Punisher: The Punisher is usually higher up in the hierarchy as he likes to bully people. When you did something wrong, The Punisher arrives on the scene to make you feel it by use of excessive force. Sometimes, when there’s two Punishers in one office, a no holds barred battle is going to erupt.

Stupid CoWorkers
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