Stupid CoWorkers

I work a turgid minimum wage job in a mid-sized engineering plant whilst putting myself through college. I’ve been there for five years and have had three people to answer to in that time. For the first three years I had a male boss in his mid 40s who, while harsh and snappy at times, was generally OK to work with. Then about two years ago, he became quite ill – nothing serious, but enough to put him out of commission at a time when we were extraordinarily busy with an order and working very long hours.

Stupid CoWorkers

Boss: Are we not paying you enough, that you have to come in wearing those shoes?

Cute female receptionist: What’s wrong with my shoes?

Boss: They’re covered in scuff marks.

Cute female receptionist: Stop being so superficial! And they’re not scuff marks, it’s pigeon crap.

Stupid CoWorkers

User: “I’ve just unplugged my monitor from the wall in order to clean it without getting shocked. How do I plug it back in?”

I had about ten different responses flash through my mind, but as this guy was fairly high up on the food chain of management, I had to control myself. I said, “Align the pins with the hole, and push it into the socket.” Satisfied, the user hung up.

Stupid CoWorkers

Copywriter to purchasing manager: Why don’t you celebrate birthdays?

Purchasing manager: I hate birthdays.

Copywriter: But that’s how you celebrate life.

Purchasing manager: It’s not the only way to celebrate life.

Copywriter: Well, how do you celebrate life?

Purchasing manager, emphasizing through gesture: Masturbate.