Coworker #1: I bought my first iPhone app while on vacation. It’s called Ragdoll Blaster. It’s pretty good.
Coworker #2: You bought an app called Rectal Blaster?
Coworker #1: Ah, it’s good to be back.
Stupid CoWorkers
Woman carrying heavy files: I need to go down to the branch and drop this off.
Man: Hello–I can help you carry that.
Woman: Aww! You had me at “hello”!
Man: You had me at “go down”!
Stupid Customers
Customer: “Can I have a sample of this doughnut?”
Me: “Sorry, no.”
Customer: “But you used to give them out! Why can’t I get one?”
Me: “Yeah, that was a long time ago. Now we only give it to children.”
(The customer squats down a bit.)
Customer: “I’m twelve. Can I have a sample?”
Stupid CoWorkers
Male coworker #1: I just couldn’t take my eyes off her mound. It was so big and, well, unorganized.
Male coworker #2: Big mounds, seems to be the Monday thing around here. Seen one, seen ’em all.
Female coworker, passing through: Well boys, you must be talking about other people’s paperwork again, since we all know you both haven’t seen a real mound in the last decade.
Male coworker #2: We were actually talking about your mound. Organize that shit, will ya?
Female coworker, laughing: Never!