Coworker on phone: Look, she’s not my girlfriend, she’s just my roommate–you can’t evict me because she is walking around outside the apartment with no pants on. Okay, I’ll come try to get her to put her pants back on.
Stupid CoWorkers
Coworker #1: I bought my first iPhone app while on vacation. It’s called Ragdoll Blaster. It’s pretty good.
Coworker #2: You bought an app called Rectal Blaster?
Coworker #1: Ah, it’s good to be back.
Stupid CoWorkers
Woman carrying heavy files: I need to go down to the branch and drop this off.
Man: Hello–I can help you carry that.
Woman: Aww! You had me at “hello”!
Man: You had me at “go down”!
Stupid Customers
Customer: “Can I have a sample of this doughnut?”
Me: “Sorry, no.”
Customer: “But you used to give them out! Why can’t I get one?”
Me: “Yeah, that was a long time ago. Now we only give it to children.”
(The customer squats down a bit.)
Customer: “I’m twelve. Can I have a sample?”