Male boss: So, earlier I walked down the hall calling your name, looking for you, but my wife is the one that responded…
Coworker, jokingly: That’s because our names sound so much alike.
Male boss: No, I think it’s because when we have sex I like to pretend she’s a man and I call out your name.
Coworker: That’s the most fucked-up thing you’ve ever said to me.
Customer service manager: He said that since he paid so much for the service contract, we should give him a replacement print head for free.
Sales manager: I’m not giving that fucker any head!
Caller: I am calling about a claim that was denied last week.
Insurance customer service rep next to me: Which claim is that, ma’am?
Caller: The one from my doctor’s visit while we were in Hawaii.
Insurance customer service rep next to me: Well, ma’am, your policy doesn’t cover international medical claims–so your doctor’s visit in Hawaii wouldn’t be covered.