Coworker #1: You ever fucked a girl so hard she bled?
Coworker #2: Nah, but I’ve seen it.
Coworker #1: You’ve seen it?!
Coworker #2: Yeah, I walked in on my mate and this girl.
Coworker #1: And you stayed around long enough to see that she was bleeding?!
Coworker #2: Well, it was my turn next.
Customer: Good morning. How may I direct your call?
CoWorkers: I’m looking for Dick. I mean, I’m looking for a dick. I mean, I’m looking for someone named Dick.
Stupid CoWorkers #1: So your sister had surgery?
Stupid CoWorkers #2: Yeah, she had a hysterectomy.
Stupid CoWorkers #1: Oh, wow, so she don’t want more kids.
Stupid CoWorkers #2: Well, she had a c-section with the last one and there was so much scar tissue in her uterus that she was having never-ending periods and just bleeding for months on end. She said she was not doing anything but bleeding and passing golf ball-sized clots and ruining her furniture, clothes, sheets. She was tired of having really bloody periods.
Stupid CoWorkers #1: Oh.
A conversation with a customer on the phone:
Customer: “I need to get a return authorization. This isn’t what I needed’
Stupid Co-Worker: “I’m sorry Sir, but I won’t be able to get you that, um, return authorization until tomorrow. You see, our CEO is demanding a report for our biggest customer and, um, well, they are more important”
The customer hung up and my Co-Worker didn’t have a clue why.