Openly gay reception guy to IT girl: Have you lost weight?
IT girl: Hahahaha, no, but I will totally have your babies now that you’ve said that.
Stupid CoWorkers
CoWorkers #1: Ew! Megan Fox’s thumbs look like toes!
CoWorkers #2: Yeah, but I bet they don’t taste like toes!
Stupid CoWorkers
CoWorkers #1: What does Raj do?
CoWorkers #2: He does the same thing Sheldon does, a cosmologist.
CoWorkers #1: A cosmologist is a beautician.
CoWorkers #2: Do you mean cosmetologist?
Stupid CoWorkers
Barista: What can I get you, sir?
Customer: I’ll have a grande toffee…
Barista: I’m sorry, sir, we do not have any toffee items in the shop any more.
Customer: Then I’ll just have a large broken dream.