Scottish Female CoWorker to Irish Male CoWorker wearing t-shirt with “deadly” on it: You’re not deadly!
Irish CoWorker : It’s Dublin slang. It means “cool.”
Scottish CoWorker : Oh. (pause) You’re not deadly!
Stupid CoWorkers
CoWorker #1: Dude, check this out! Robin bought me some bacon-flavored popcorn!
CoWorker #2: Sweet! To thank her you should dress up like that kid from Malcolm in the Middle and pee on her… (pause) What? I heard she was into that. Not so much? Okay…
Stupid CoWorkers
Coworker: Happy birthday! I hope you like the cake, we got it from your neighbor, you know, the the one who makes cakes.
Annoying coworker: No way! You got it from her, I can’t believe you did that!
(a few minutes later)
Annoying coworker: Why is my piece so big? Stop cutting the pieces so big! I want to take some home! It’s my cake!
Coworker: What? Are you serious? It’s for the office, and this is how we always cut the fucking cake.
Annoying coworker: Ugh! Whatever! It’s my birthday! Why can’t I get some cake to take home!
Coworker: Fine! I’ll wrap up the left overs. Jesus Christ!
(later that day)
Coworker: Here’s the rest of your cake.
Annoying coworker: I don’t want it anymore, I’m not going straight home after work, and I don’t want to carry that around.
Coworker, while walking away: Fucking bitch…
Stupid CoWorkers
Coworker #1: Hey, want to go outside to smoke?
Coworker #2: Yeah, I need to hit the toilet first.
Coworker #1: I already went.
Coworker #2: That wasn’t an invitation.