Customer: “Hi, I need to get a refund for this book. You gave me the wrong book.”
Me: “Didn’t you ask for Dracula?”
Customer: “No! I read this book and it is nothing like the movie.”
Me: “Actually, Francis Ford Coppola completely re-wrote the story when he filmed his version of Dracula. I can help you find that version, if you’d like.”
Customer: “No! I want the Van Helsing version.”
Me: “I’m sorry?”
Customer: “Yeah, in Van Helsing, Van Helsing is the main character and he fights Dracula and Frankenstein.”
Me: “That film is a complete work of fiction. Van Helsing never fought Frankenstein or Frankenstein’s monster.”
Customer: “Yes he did! The movie said so! What do you know?”
Me: “Bram Stroker was a little boy when Mary Shelley died, so she never read Dracula.”
Customer: “I think you are lying. The movie and Hugh Jackman would never lie!” *storms off*
Customer #2: *overhearing* “I hate Hollywood.”