(I am a shift manager at a restaurant. I have many facial piercings, but always take them out for work.)
Me: “Hello this is the manager speaking, what seems to be the problem today?”
Caller: “I am calling to complain about one of your staff. They have horrendous facial piercings. It’s disgusting!”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I must let you know that all of our staff are required to take out any piercings before starting their shift. What did this employee look like?”
Caller: “She looked like the devil! She had piercings in her lip nose and eyebrow!”
(I am the only one with these piercings, so she must be referring to me.)
Me: “Okay, ma’am, are you sure you saw this employee at the restaurant?”
Caller: “No, she was at the supermarket!”
Me: “You’re calling about one of our employees while they were off duty?”
Caller: “Yes! She never has them on at your restaurant, so they must have fallen into my food!”
Me: *speechless*
Caller: “YOU’RE GETTING SUED!”