Stupid Customers

Me: “Hi there. Can I help you find a certain section?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a card.”

Me: “Okay. What type of card?”

Customer: “Well, there is this guy and he is my friend…but not really…and I want to get him a special card.”

Me: “Okay, I’m not sure I understand. Do you want a friendship card?”

Customer: “No. Oh my God, he would hate that! It’s just that…we’re friends, but not really. Like, we’re more than friends.”

Me: “So, your boy–”

Customer: “OH, GOD NO! He’s not my boyfriend. We just have a lot of sex, and I want to get him a card…for that.”

Me: “Ma’am…I don’t think we actually make ‘Sex Buddy Cards’.”

Customer: *long pause*

Me: “Maybe a ‘Thank You’ card?”

Customer: *runs from store*