Tech Support: “Thank you for calling tech support, how may I help you?”
Customer: “Yes, is this the help desk?”
Tech Support: “Yes sir, it is; how may I help you?”
Customer: (in a very strained and excited voice) “I can’t go to the bathroom!”
Understandably, I was shocked.
Tech Support: “Sir…I am not sure what your definition of a help desk is, but I don’t believe I am qualified to help you with that problem.”
Customer: “You have to. The nearest bathroom is broken, and the toilet is overflowing. I don’t know what to do. Send someone up to repair it.”
Tech Support: “Sir, we only open do troubleshooting on computers, not bathrooms and toilets.”
Customer: “But it’s the same thing!”
Tech Support: “Um, no it’s not.”
Customer: “It is too! It’s repairing things! Now I want someone up here right now.”
Tech Support: “It’s two entirely different things. Computers run on electricity and have hundreds of parts. Toilets run on water.”
Customer: “It’s an emergency! Can you send someone up to fix it?”
Tech Support: “Sir, might I suggest that you use another bathroom?”
Customer: “AGH! I CAN’T USE ANOTHER BATHROOM! I HAVE TO GO NOW! GET SOMEONE UP HERE NOW!”
I put him on hold. For about three minutes. I hate to be screamed at.
Tech Support: “Sir, I cannot. I have no way to do that. I fix computers. Not toilets.”
Customer: (rant, rant, rave, rave)
Tech Support: “I’m sorry, I really can’t help you.”
Customer: “Oh gosh…oh my pants!” (click)