I was interning at a local ISP and every once in a while got to take a tech support call. I probably only took about five at the most. Here’s the best one.
Tech Support: “Tech support.”
Customer: “Yeah, every time I get on the Internet and leave my computer, I get disconnected.”
Tech Support: “How long are you away from your computer?”
Customer: “About 10-20 minutes.”
Tech Support: “Sir, if you’re idle for more than 15 minutes, we disconnect you.”
Customer: “Well don’t disconnect me!”
Tech Support: “It’s not us, sir — it’s the servers, they do it automatically.”
Customer: “Change it, then.”
Tech Support: “I can’t.”
Customer: “Yes you can!”
Tech Support: “Sir, I’m not allowed to.”
Customer: “I pay for this service, and dammit, you’re going to change it!”
Tech Support: “Sir, I’m not allowed to change it. Bottom line.”
Customer: “And why not!?”
Tech Support: “Because I’m not the administrator.”
Customer: “Well tell him to change it!”
Tech Support: “I can’t do that either. The administrator hates me.”
Customer: “Why?”
Tech Support: “Because I won our last Nerf tournament.”
Customer: “Nerf tournament?! I pay you guys to play with toys?”
Tech Support: “We do it in our spare time.”
Customer: “I want to talk to your supervisor!”
Tech Support: “Sorry, but my supervisor is the administrator, and he’s busy.”
Customer: “Well, I’m going to rat you out about your little Nerf gun secret!”
Tech Support: “Tell the owner — it’ll give him more of a reason to come down here to play with us.”
He hung up.